Clothes: Falsity or a Way of Expressing One’s Personality?
How many of us want to gain respect? Admiration? For people to like us for what we are on the inside?
I’m sure all of you reading this article are cool, decent persons with moral values and courage when needed.
I ask the questions above almost every single day but, for starters, let me answer a question that I’ve been asked many times:
Are or should clothes be everything in life?
My answer is: definitely NO!
Because clothes are a means, not a purpose.
I know you probably don’t like people that wear very expensive clothes and drive expensive cars. Most of them, when you try to communicate with them, it’s like hitting a wall. It’s as if… they are just empty. It’s like they have this mask that they don’t want to take off. It’s as if there’s a wall between you and them that you can’t jump over in order to get to them… to what they’re really like inside.
Then WHY, why do they hide behind clothes?
Being good at analyzing this ever since I was a kid, I pondered many times about the reasons some people wear extravagant clothes to draw attention and to reject them when they attempt communication. I tried to “simulate” their day-to-day life starting from an old principle:
We live in an universe of type cause-effect. Each thing that happens has some causes behind it that trigger it. The reverse is also true> if you cause two identical events, under similar conditions, you will get similar results.
So I asked myself this question: why do people act annoying? It’s true that it works for some if they don’t abuse being “cocky” but… what about the rest?
I’ve reached the conclusion that those who wear extravagant clothes want to be liked as appreciated as well.
Big revelation, right?
But, since they don’t know HOW to do it (whether because of their parents or their entourage) they just try things. Let’s not forget that each person is programmed to do whatever he or she thinks best from his or her point of view. But it’s hard for most people to see themselves from outside and judge their actions from an objective perspective.
This is what they are thinking: If i dress generic, nobody will notice me. I’ve seen people on TV that dress super expensive and they get all the attention. I’ll do the same!
They do it and they get feedback (people looking at then on the street etc.):
It’s working! I’ll just keep doing this. Now I’m like those rich people on TV. How cool am I? Look at the rest of the people dressed poorly. How embarrasing!
Now what happens is that they hit a wall. The wall is called “not having the inner game and principles” to match their clothes. but instead of blaming themselves, they think:
Hmmm.. These people don’t like me. I was expectig them to praise me for my expensive fancy clothes. To compliment me about my car…
They obviously feel disoriented. They don’t know what to think.
Instead of dressing generic and remain in the shadow, I’d prefer to keep this up. At least now I get people to notice me. Some are even afraid of me. besides, my closest friends dress exactly like me so why should I care what others think?
So the cause and effect are different:
Those rich people on TV had rich parents, they were born in a city with bigger opportunities. Maybe thy had certain genetic factors that made their lives easier. This cumulus of factors launched them on their path to success. All they had to do is follow it.
The guy who tries and copies them may dress similar to his idol but then he’s surprised he doesn’t get the same results.
So what went wrong?
To get the same effect, according to the principle I talked about in the beginning of this article, you need to repeat the causes. You need to understand the world you’re living in. If you’re just following the trest, it’s very unlikely that you will achieve that.
Following trends is good up to a point.
These guys who dress expensively have places one or two pieces of the puzzle and they think they’re done.
And they can’t even SEE that their puzzle is incomplete. What’s the use to fiil out the corners of the puzzle if you leave the middle blank?
Does it work being a jerk?
Yes, I’ve done it many times. Guys who are sure of themselves are very attractive to the opposite sex and their stylish clothes accentuate their personality. Just remember that, at some point, you need to open up.
Clothes talk on your behalf only in the beginning. After that, your thinking needs to take over.
Is being generic the solution, then?
No, dressing generic is not the solution. We are unique, we think differently and we should express our personality by our clothes. It’s all right.
Get a person who is dressed generically to tell you his life story. if he’s nice, decent and knows how to tell a story, he will get a thumbs up. Dress him stylish and have him tell the same story. He will get a standing ovation and people will rush to shake his hand.
Why can’t people just look at one’s personality? Why do the let themselves influenced by clothes, money, fancy cars etc?
I will answer this question and, at the same time, I want you to answer it as well in a comment. I think it’s mainly because we’re simply not perfec. Our behavior is a relic of the past, several thousands of years ago. Back then, the more resources a man had the more he could sustain his tribe for longer periods of time.
In our days, the females of certain species of penguins only mate with those males who manage to make the biggest, strongest nest (which is actually made of rocks). The reason is simple: a stronger nest can protect the eggs better against wind, thus increasing their chances of survival.
Are we animals?
I honest opinion is that we are, indeed, to a certain degree. I know a lot of us have big egos and consider ourselves to be smart. But let’s admit that we still have flaws, worries, weaknesses. The more we get to know about each-other and about our nature the faster we can evolve and increase our quality of life.
Ovi, are you telling me that I should wear extravagant clothes and to chase money all my life?
No, I’m not saying that at all. If you asked yourself that question after reading this article it means you only got half of my message. First you need to develop yourself. Then you should try and help others as much as you can. Then you can start wearing stylish clothes, get a nice car or whatever you want but DO IT FOR YOURSELF NOT FOR OTHERS. This is your life to enjoy.
If you end up getting right but continue to be nice to people, they’ll absolutely love and respect you. Rich people should be generous because they need social acceptance and validation just like the rest of us. And you can only get that by being generous and kind.
Regardless of the fact that you agree or disagree to this, let me know waht you think by commenting below. I’m really interested if you can challenge my beliefs.